Beyond the bedroom: understanding the ways in which sexual arousal and desire shape our wellbeing and romantic relationships

As engaging in good sex frequently has positive benefits for our sexual wellbeing, our romantic relationships, and our lives as a whole, it is highly important to understand what might impact our sex lives. The present thesis offers a novel exploration into how sexual arousal, the physiological response to sexual stimuli, and desire, the psychological/ motivational response to sexual stimuli, can impact our wellbeing and romantic relationships beyond the bedroom. In Study 1, we demonstrated how sexual arousal and desire work in conjunction with other facets of sexual activation to influence sexual, relational, and personal wellbeing. Across Studies 2-5, we demonstrated how alignment between arousal and desire at high levels is important for sexual and relationship satisfaction. Additionally, we demonstrated that on days when arousal-desire alignment is greater than usual, this leads to greater than usual sexual satisfaction (Study 4). Moreover, women’s greater arousal-desire alignment had positive impacts on their male partner’s relationship satisfaction (Study 5). Those with greater alignment on average, also reported engaging in sexual intimacy more frequently (Study 4). Finally, we found that a person’s beliefs about what makes a sexual relationship satisfying might change how important arousal-desire alignment is to their sexual satisfaction (Study 4). This thesis offers potential practical implications with suggestions for future research and interventions that could help people bolster the benefits that we gain from having good sex in our relationships. Moreover, it demonstrates the value that can be added to research by taking the theoretical position that arousal and desire are separate concepts, and by integrating concepts, theories, and methodologies from the fields of relationship and sexuality psychology.