Gay men’s experiences of holding hands in public: psychosocial dilemmas and the discourse of homophobia

On any typical day or night walking in urban, suburban or rural environments, it is not uncommon to see what seems, from appearances, to be a heterosexual or straight-passing couple holding hands as they walk, or engaging in similar gestures that portray themselves to be in a loving and intimate relationship. Typically, such public displays of affection appear carefree and spontaneous. The picture is different however for members of the LGBTQ community. According to the 2017 UK National LGBT Survey (UK Government Equalities Office, 2018), more than two thirds of respondents reported that they never hold hands with their partner in public, out of a fear of possible negative or abusive reactions from others. We have contributed elsewhere to furthering qualitative research on this topic (Rohleder, Ryan-Flood, Walsh 2023). Extending this work, the current article develops an account of the role of homophobia and internalised homophobia in gay men’s experience of navigating the act of holding hands with their partners across different landscapes. We take a detailed look at interview material from three study participants to consider the psychic struggles involved when negotiating internal and external barriers to holding hands. Writing as two psychoanalytic practitioners, we deploy a clinically informed listening stance in our engagement with the study material and offer a distinctly psychosocial theorisation of homophobia.