“Everything about being a parent when you’ve lost is bittersweet”. Couples’ experiences of parenting a pre-adolescent child following perinatal loss.

Background: Perinatal loss is defined as loss at any stage of pregnancy, up to the first 30 days of life. Perinatal loss occurs in one in four pregnancies and can be a traumatic life experience for parents. It is known that subsequent pregnancies are characterised by increased anxiety and depression, however, very little is known about the impact of perinatal loss beyond the birth of subsequent children. Aims: This research aims to consider the impact of perinatal loss on subsequent parenting through the experiences and perspectives of both parents. The study intends to explore how couples raise a child in the context of prior perinatal loss and to situate fathers and partners within the narrative of perinatal loss research. Methodology: Fifteen couples who had lost a baby or babies and gone on to have a subsequent child participated in semi-structured interviews in which they shared their stories with the researcher. These stories were then transcribed and analysed using narrative analysis. Results: The research identified narrative features including ‘the chapter stays open’ and ‘gendered discourses’ and narrative types including ‘stories of risk consciousness’ and ‘stories of gratitude’. Discussion: Parents continued to develop their relationship with their children who had died and they remained a part of their family narrative. Parents sometimes shared differing public and personal stories of parenting in the context of prior perinatal loss that appeared to be influenced by gender and wider societal discourses. The couple’s experiences of baby loss increased risk consciousness and also gratitude when parenting subsequent children. The ways in which baby loss influenced parents’ narratives were not mutually exclusive. These narratives interlinked and parents moved between different narrative types at different times in the process of adjusting to subsequent parenthood. Directions for further research and the clinical implications of the current research are discussed.